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Tag: moody
It seems that from somewhere, the fit has hit the shan, so to speak. Steve’s right, it does feel like high school only with much larger topics on the wind. I feel like everyone is saying something about everyone else behind their backs, and then those stories get twisted and contorted and corrupted before they make it all the way back around the the person’s face. There’s a lot of shit and a lot of truth flying around right now and sometimes it’s tough to separate the two. There are truths and shit that apply to me and, to be honest, I’m willing to let it all hit me because I know people who are in a much worse place than I am. I still see myself as lucky and fortunate in all of this, regardless of what other people feel or think of me.
I love you all, and I’m serious about the hugs and handshakes thing.
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A lifetime in 24 hours.
We have highs and lows, ups and downs in our life. Days that we laugh and days that we break down and cry. Sometimes we get all of that in one day. It’s an emotional rollercoaster and exhausting when it happens that way. I’m not going into detail here, I’m just saying that it’s been a whirlwind two days and I don’t think the ride is over, but maybe, just maybe, it’ll go through a slow spot here for a bit.
Hugs for everyone who wants then and handshakes for those who don’t.
I feel bad about how I get about sex sometimes. I know that it’s not helping the situation a lot, but it’s very important and very emotional to me, so when I realize I’ve missed an opportunity, or an opportunity isn’t going to be available to me for an extended period of time, I get upset, or sad, or depressed because I want to see improvement, I do see improvement, I see change, I get hopeful. At the same time I am so paranoid of backsliding. We’ve had months where things were awesome, times when we were scared that things were going to get worse, so almost out of desperation, things got better, but in time they have always come back to the same status quo, and that’s why it effects me so much I think. I feel so bad about it, but at the same time, I can’t seem to lose the paranoia. Maybe it’s because it’s happened so many times, we’ll get on a good streak and then a month later I’ll realize it’s as if nothing ever changed.
Categories
A Grain of Salt
I was very upset last night, and while a lot of my thoughts and feelings are not necessarily mis-represented, they are not stated with any tact or sugar coating. I was really tense and pissed off, I have no excuse for my harshness and bluntness. I meant a lot of it, and in fact I meant most of it. I just want to say that I never set out to hurt or offend anyone with my entry, I just needed to shout, out loud or on a keyboard, either would work. I chose livejournal because I want to open myself up to my friends and the world to see. I want to show people that everyone has problems and can get angry, or upset, or irrational, or giddy, or horny, or what have you and it’s not wrong, it’s not bad, you’re not fucked up, you’re just human. People have been like this for 1000 years and no series of psychoactive drugs is going to change that. Every generation tries to fix the things that make us human.
As for Fancy turning people on me, that’s not true, I mis-spoke. I realized that shortly after I wrote it and I didn’t mean it that way. I never did, nor did I ever really think that. I was angry, and as I said, I meant most of what I said, but I also spoke irrationally. That was a statement falsely written out of anger and paranoia. I did not mean it, nor do I believe it.
This too shall pass and we will grow and learn from it. We may not grow together nor change what has happened, but we will all be wiser as a result. That I do believe.
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How do they know?
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peloquin3 is distressed. |
| If it’s not one thing, it’s another. Your life is a pitiful wreck, and it’s all you ever write about. Why don’t you at least make up a happy story for once. Your friends would appreciate that. |
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brought to you by interim32. wanna know your livejournal’s mood ring |
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Sometimes Free Sucks
I wish I was a paying member of LiveJounal. I keep running into things I can’t do because I can’t afford $25 a year right now. poop. Someone out there want to sponsor me? Not that anyone really reads my tripe anyway.
Categories
Fight Night
I try not to talk about my problems with 
Heather in my livejournal, but I feel like I have to say something since I haven’t said anything since last night when we went to bed angry. Don’t they say never go to bed angry? Oh well.
somebody please kill me… more later (maybe)