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Today’s Tweets
- 11:05 Age of Booty was pretty cool, but I kind of need more time with it to determine if its worth the $10 they want for it. #
- 11:40 well, the good thing about a busy day, it goes by much faster, whether you’re having fun or not. #
- 11:59 Is it just me, or does this page look an awful lot like the WoW page? tinyurl.com/472gj5 #
- 12:03 Every now and then, I miss WoW. #
- 13:49 Installing drivers, Installing drivers, Installing drivers… #
- 15:20 Apparently I also lost all of my Presidents of the United States of America in my great music loss. #
- 16:10 So Assylum is a bit better than the first episode let on, but its still a lot of “stand-up” style comedy in a meandering sitcom. #
- 16:10 erm, Asylum. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 08:22 I wish there was a way to add movies ONLY to your Instant View Queue. #
- 08:28 Ravenous may be one of my favorite soundtracks of all time. #
- 08:37 How awesome is it that Motorhead is on the Spongebob Squarepants Movie Soundtrack! #
- 09:27 I kind of just zoned out there for about an hour. #
- 11:01 Streaking Minigame? I may just send Saints Row II back before I even play it. 😐 #
- 13:38 I “love” having the same conversation with people again, and again, and again. #
- 13:47 This is not a great Tortilla Soup. Not great at all. #
- 15:39 So, why isn’t it 4:30 yet? #
- 16:02 so I had to put another hole in my belt this morning… don’t worry, I think its just the belt stretching. #
- 17:02 Grabbing a couple episodes of Asylum and heading home. YAY! #
- 21:33 Okay, I’ll fess up, I’m sick to DEATH of political Twitters. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 11:52 I overheated my Bagelful. #
- 12:22 guess I’ll be trying out Saint’s Row II in the next day or so… I got my shipping notification yesterday. #
- 14:48 that’s some hella rain. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 09:55 At home sick (genuinely), drinking bourbon spiked hot tea and watching Iron Man. #
- 14:14 So tired, want to take a nap, but the boy and I are hanging out. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 11:13 Damn, my Fage Yogurt cup was cracked and moldy inside. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 08:29 I’ve decided that the shirt and shorts combo I was uncertain about this morning is really not working afterall. #
- 13:48 #Blog: A Movie of Depreciating Value… kclose3.com/blog/?p=152 #
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A Movie of Depreciating Value…
…in which I talk about my love for movies, even the bad ones.
I love movies. I mean, I really love movies. I will watch the worst movies you’ve seen and enjoy myself, usually finding at least one small part that is redeemable. I watch some really bad movies sometimes, just because of a particular actor, director, writer, or theme. I have a really bad habit of adding movies to my Netflix queue simply because the description “sounds interesting.” As a result, my Netflix queue has over 400 movies on it, many of which I don’t recognize or even remember why I added them in the first place.
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A Movie of Depreciating Value…
…in which I talk about my love for movies, even the bad ones.
I love movies. I mean, I really love movies. I will watch the worst movies you’ve seen and enjoy myself, usually finding at least one small part that is redeemable. I watch some really bad movies sometimes, just because of a particular actor, director, writer, or theme. I have a really bad habit of adding movies to my Netflix queue simply because the description “sounds interesting.” As a result, my Netflix queue has over 400 movies on it, many of which I don’t recognize or even remember why I added them in the first place.
Last night we watched Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls and while it takes a really deplorable movie for me to do this, I rated it a one out of five stars. To be honest, though, it wasn’t really because of how bad the movie was (but don’t get too excited, it was a atrociously bad movie), but more because the description lied to me. More specifically, the “featured cast” list on Netflix lied to me. Here, take a look at who is supposed to be in it:
- Evan Marriott
- Eric Roberts
- Joyce Giraud
- Colleen Shannon
- Stuart Pankin
- Michael Jackson
- Charlie Schlatter
- Somaya Reece
- Eugene Greytak
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Bob Denver
- Pat Morita
- Lou Ferrigno
- Bernie Kopell
- Jerry Lewis
Now I can only guess that I added this movie, regardless of its star rating (1.9) simply because of the fantastically diverse cast. Even when the disk arrived, I didn’t remember anything about the movie but as soon as I saw all these names in the description, I was once again excited to see all these people working together. As I sat, watching the movie with Heather (who only gave it a chance for the same promised cast), I started to notice that in light of the lack of a plot and the abysmally cartoonish special effects, no casting choices were ever going to save this feature. Eric Roberts, a B quality star, made his appearance early on, and Charlie Schlatter (yeah, I had to look him up, but he looked really familiar) entered immediately afterwards, but all those other big names up there seemed to be taking their time showing up. Eventually, there was a gag in which Charlie Schlatter, stranded with the beauty pageant contestants on the deserted island, finds an unconscious Gilligan lookalike (that’s Bob Denver for those of you who are not good with names) and goes through his pockets. This lookalike never speaks, nor even looks at the screen. There is no way to even suggest that it was, in fact, Bob Denver but we are to assume that it was. It turns out that even IMDB has taken Bob Denver’s name out of the credits, if not by request, then probably out of respect. Shortly afterwards, Michael Jackson made his appearance, and it was a surprisingly sizable part. To be fair, though, the writer/director has a prior relationship with Michael Jackson and a particularly talented small boy. Even still, his footage looked like it was filmed with a webcam and submitted via email.
Of the remaining stars, Lou Ferrigno was superimposed on a special effect, Jerry Lewis was possibly there in name only (as in, his name was mentioned), I never saw any reference at all to Anna Nicole, Pat Morita or Bernie Kopell. In all honesty, the movie did make me chuckle more than once, and for that, I was going to give it two stars (to get an idea of what I deem a one star film, watch Porn Theatre) but dropped it to one star because I felt lied to and cheated. Before putting the disk in the mail to go back to its hellspawn origin, I even crossed out all the names on the label that were arguably not even in the movie.
Oh, and Jurassic Pork didn’t make me chuckle at all.
Originally posted at K. Close III
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Today’s Tweets
- 08:28 “New Xbox Experience Coming November 19th” Woo! tinyurl.com/4ggcky #
- 09:44 I could be home, playing Mass Effect. #
- 09:45 That Bagelful was okay, but it would have been better toasted, rather than microwaved. #
- 09:49 I’m still not sure how my Xbox Live account has records for Uno and Oblivion. I’ve never played them… ever. #
- 12:05 Fable II should have its Co-Op patch available on launch day. Yay! #
- 12:48 I got an interview… now I’m nervous! #
- 15:25 I may have finally figured out Sysprep… #
- 16:42 Now that’s a hell of a thing: blog.makezine.com/ddyrdy.jpg #
- 19:21 Honestly, the best thing about this movie is the score, because it sounds like Firefly. #
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Today’s Tweets
- 00:48 Well, that’s enough Mass Effect for today, I should sleep before I’m too tired and useless at work tomorrow. #
- 10:05 I forgot my 2nd breakfast today, so I need to go buy something, but I have no one to walk with. #
- 10:26 Eggs were what I was craving, but due to a busted water main, I have stale sweet bread, instead. #
- 10:30 You know you’ve found a Twitter Spammer when everytime you refresh, they’re following 25 more people. #
- 10:40 I would by my brother an Xbox 360 in a heartbeat if I had the money to spare… that’s how much I miss hanging out with him. #
- 10:47 Finally! too bad it costs $80!!! tinyurl.com/4qqcxy #
- 14:40 I don’t know why, but the internet just hasn’t been updating enough for me lately. #
- 15:36 this is my first time to wear tube socks in months, and I’ll admit, its driving my ankle hairs CRAZY! #
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