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More and more, this is how I’ve felt:

So, I don’t suspect that my Mother reads this blog, I suspect she would find it pointless and inane if she did. That being my assumption, it would then follow that it would be safe to discuss the fact that my yet to be born child is a boy.

I suspect that my son will also be unlikely to read this, but even so, I would imagine that we are open and honest enough with him that anything he does read here, would be of little surprise to him (how we doing, son?).

That being said, there is still the lingering sadness that our daughter will not be, as she turned out to not be so much a daughter, but a son, instead. Heather and I were quite looking forward to a little girl for several reasons, and with a bit of guilt, I felt somewhat disappointed when the Ultrasound revealed the kiddo to be a boy. I am getting used to the idea, and have started to look forward to raising my son to not be a camo wearing, sports watching, football playing, redneck jock; but instead, a game playing, movie watching, book reading, glasses wearing, self confident, dork. I think the self confidence is the key. If there was anything I learned far too late in life, it was to be proud of who I am and not care what other people think.

We saw a lot of little boys at Scarborough this weekend (you should see my awesome parade photos from the faire on my Flickr page), and one of them in particular made me look forward to being the father of a son. He was scrawny, and quiet, but proud to be out at the faire, dressed the part, and just enjoying himself in the Renaissance spirit. Every time he walked by (which was more than a few, as we sat in the Sky Chairs), I imagined my own son being very similar.

Now that I think about it, I should have asked his name. You see, one of the several reasons we were looking forward to having a girl, is we agreed on her name almost instantly. Aislin. But from the time that we started discussing names up through the present, we have yet to both find a name that we completely love and agree on. We can find names that one of us loves and the other “isn’t opposed to,” but nothing has been as definitive as our little girl’s name. We still have four months left to figure it out, but I’ve read through the baby names so many times, that they’re starting to sound less and less like names, and more like animal noises.

Its frustrating to say the least, but I’m sure that a year from now, it will all be so unimportant that we’ll hardly remember the struggle. At least until we go back and look at these old blogs, right son?

20 Weeks – Profile 2
Originally uploaded by Kacey3.

We had our 20 week ultrasound today.

Baby looks great! More photos at Flickr.

All of my Flickr photos are geo-tagged.

What’s your excuse?

Reverend Horton Heat – Bath-Water Blues