Day: September 3, 2004

So now that I’ve got this cool new GMail account I’ve realized that I don’t get a lot of email. Makes me wish I kept in touch with people more, but I think I’ve burned a lot of bridges as I traveled through life… burned them or let them rot and collapse under age. I post on LiveJournal to tell the stories of my days and my life, but the personal connection isn’t there like it is in email. I talk to friends daily, the people I truly consider my close friends. I know some of us have had odds at times, but we’ve always mended our differences. There are others though that I have lost touch with, and no matter how hard I try to find them, they’re gone forever. Some I find, never to hear from them when I try to contact them. Some I find, just to find that the contact information I have is no longer valid. I have friends who still talk to and contact their friends from childhood. My childhood was quite secluded. I was a very shy child and thus never made a lot of friends. So, even though I went to school with pretty much the same people all through school, I never really had the same friend year after year. I think a lot of it had to do with where I lived. I didn’t really live in a neighborhood, there were no other kids anywhere near where I could walk to or ride my bike, so I was kind of isolated. The only friends I could make were the ones in my class, and since my classmates changed every year, it didn’t lend itself to making the same friends.

So now, here I am, in my early 30’s and I’m jealous of people who have childhood friends or chat with people other than those they work beside. I find myself lucky that the people I work with are actually my friends, but sometimes I feel the need to diversify. I’ve been guitly of being a hermit, too. Refusing to go out and do things with people when the opportunity arose, and as a result, have lost the chance of making good friends out of casual acquaintences.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not unhappy with my life. Sometimes I just wish there were more people to share it with, and that I still knew some of the people I’ve known in the past.

I’ve decided that my bike ride on Tuesdays and Thursdays is getting easier. That’s the first real sign that I’m actually doing something when I go to work out and ride. I’ve upped the weight on a lot of the Nautilus machines, but not substantially (except when I realized I was doing way too little on them the first week), but the ride home is much more of an indicator to me. The first few times I had to really push myself to get home, especially the ride up Bell (relatively steep, long incline). Now I can usually do it with just a little heavy breathing by the time I get to the top. When I start to get near the house, I used to coast as much as possible and nearly collapse against the garage door exhausted. Now I start finding newer, longer detours home so I can add an extra quarter or half mile. Even yesterday, when I got to one of my standard detour turns, I decided I just wanted to get home. But then when I came to one of the other detours, I took it and still added on another quarter mile.

When I got home, instead of collapsing on the floor, heaving and trying to drink some watered down powerade, I was industrious enough to go out and put up the new hammock. Yes, I said new hammock. The last one was eaten, we assume by squirrels. Why do we assume that? Because they hate us and eat everything we own.

I want to game. I haven’t played in a game in over a month and I’m starting to get the shakes. I ran my Spycraft game the other day, and while it was fun, and I loved running it (even if it was kind of chaotic and self-destructive at times), I haven’t had the chance to play anything since, shit, I don’t know when. I’m starting to need my fix again. Nick! Steve! Derek! Somebody! Help!

I haven’t been playing as much City of Heroes as I’d like either. I’ve noticed that it’s harder and harder to catch people on; well, except Tennessee Slim (et al). As a result of none of my higher level friends being on, I’ve been playing my lowbies a lot more lately. Kher Minu is turning out to be a really fun character. And I pulled Mick Mannock out of the closet and dusted him off so I could level him to 8 last night. Much fun was had. Crap, now I’ve talked about it enough that I’m wanting to play again. I wonder what Mick Mannock and Texas Ranger would work like together. Two blasters, dealing lots of damage, but with no blockers. Should be interesting.

Oh well, time to do some work.