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Warning: In Today’s Episode, I talk about Shit.

Yesterday was a pretty good day up until I innocently started trying to move funiture around the living room.

So Knight’s turned into a kind of poop cannon lately. We’re pretty sure he’s just suffering a bit of diahreah and it will pass in the next day or so. To be safe, we didn’t feed him last night so as not to reload the cannon. Anyway, we came home Monday for lunch and he had shit all over his crate (thank god we keep these dogs in crates). Not only had he messed his crate, but apparently his ass was up to the side of the crate that is pushed up against Ia’s crate and he fired across both crates. I feel bad for him, because he was probably in some serious pain when he let that blast loose, but I feel worse for Ia, because she was just sitting in her cage when the guyser came through the side. Regardless, we took their cages outside, hosed them down, washed their bedding and left them outside for the rest of the day. When I broght them back in that night, I started trying to think of some place other than the dining room to put the crates. As a part of that, I realized that all the books on my tall bookshelf in the living room could fit on one shelf by the fireplace, so I cleared it off and moved it out of the room. I moved Heather’s chair and automan, not knowing where it would end up, and put the cages there by the door and the fireplace. Aside from the fact that the crap cannon struck again and we had to clean up even more shit, I kind of liked where the cages were so I started trying to figure out how to arrange the rest of the funiture so it would incorporate the small changes I’d made.

Now lets take a moment to note that that afternoon I’d worked out my upper body (arms, chest, back, etc.) and I couldn’t pick up a plate of pizza.

Back to our story, already in progress. I have these two media cabinets that house all my CDs and DVDs. After sliding the couches back and to the left about a foot, Heather finally agreed that her chair would look pretty good in front of the usless door to the living room from the foyer if only I moved the CD cabinet to the other side of the TV. I took out half the CDs thinking that would make it easier to move. Was I fucking wrong, with my upper body completely spent from weight training earlier in the day, I had one hell of a time moving that thing. At one point, CDs started pouring out of it like I’d won some kind of crazy CD Slot Machine. Anyway, anyone who knows me, knows this is where the yelling and the cursing started. I finally got it close to where I wanted it, even though all the CDs I’d taken so much care to set aside so they could be put back simply and easilly had been dumped upon by the slot machine effect and now really, all the CDs were completely mixed up. As I got the CD cabinet close to where it needed to be, I realized the DVD cabinet needed to move closer to the TV also. I got down on the floor, knowing how hard those things were to move and how dead my arms were, and tried to push it, which is where things went from very bad to fucking horrible. One of the bottom panels of the cabinet buckled and started to rip off as I pushed it. In a panic, a frenzy, and a rage, I freaked out and started pulling DVDs out of the cabinet so I could lay it down and asses the damage. Unlike the first few CDs I pulled out, I didn’t take any care or consideration, I just pulled them out so I could drop that cabinet and see if it was structurally damaged and if it could be fixed. The floor of the livingroom was now a huge pile of unorganized CDs and DVDs and I didn’t even have the strength to lay the cabinet down safely. After a few attempts, a lot of screaming, and feeling like I’d been constipated for a week, I finally got it down on it’s side and checked it out. It wasn’t too bad, and if I had the time, the parts and the inclination, I coudl fix it, but for now, I straghtened it out and stood it back up. I’ll fix it later.

Anyway, about two hours later and with the help of my amazingly resilient and understanding wife, we got all the media re-alphabetized and back in the cabinets and the chair in its new home. Whether she was sincere or just being polite, she said she liked the way it looked now. Fuck moving furniture. Everything else is staying right where it is, forever.

Well, except the office funiture which is in the extra room, not the office.

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