stress

A Short Nap in the Texas Springtime…

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 | LiveJournal Archives | No Comments

…in which I talk about my day off and what’s still plaguing my mind.

I took a “sick” day yesterday. To be honest, I’d call it a sanity day. I tried to make a four day weekend out of it, but Friday I came in in the morning to meet with a faculty who requested we talk about some problems she’s been having with her computer. As it turned out, she left her laptop at home anyway and I could have just taken the day off after all. No great loss, though, I like the faculty member, and I think just showing up to help her out made her feel good and we talked about what the problems could be anyway. I did take the rest of Friday off, however, and while I don’t remember exactly what I did, I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it. I’ve just been really stressed lately and I needed a break.

The weekend was good, but as always, far too short. Which leads me to my taking Monday off as well. It was a beautiful day and I just lazed around the house for the most part. I did a couple loads of laundry to make Heather happy, I read my book in my hanging chair out back, I bought a new game for my xbox and played the crap out of it. When Heather and Ansel came home, we went out and had Panera for dinner and then I got to eat some of Angela’s cake for desert. In brief, it was a day I really needed. I also did some thinking about how stressed I’ve been lately, and how much pressure life is putting on me and how good that one day felt.

Aside from the obvious statement of “I need more days like that” I thought that I need to find a way to remove some stressors in my life. And while I hate thinking about it, I always come back to school. I’ve got so much going on, that I just can’t seem to concentrate on school. For nearly two semesters now (from the week Ansel was born) I haven’t done anything at all in the way of schoolwork aside from my one trip down to Houston for FotoFest and that was something I should have done whether I was in school or not. The only time school factors into my current state of life is when I all of a sudden realize that I haven’t been doing any photo projects or research or anything, and that I really should be or I’m going to get further and further behind.

Am I really unhappy with my life as it is? Do I really need my MFA to change my current state? I realize I’m underpaid and that I could be making more money either at another job like this one, or in a teaching position that could be garnered with my MFA, but do I want or need that much change? I realize I ask this question a lot and its going to come up frequently in my blogging. Get used to it. When I was sitting in my chair, hanging from the tree in my back yard yesterday, a book in my lap and the wind gently twisting me around, I had to wonder why I was going to school?

I need to work. Its an unfortunate requirement of this modern life. Unless you are remarkably blessed, or were extremely pro-active at some point in your life (or are willing to live a very substandard existence), you must submit yourself to work. I know there are people out there who have jobs that aren’t “work,” and that they do what they love and get paid for it, but I’m pretty sure there aren’t that many jobs out there to sit under a tree and read a book.


Originally posted at K. Close III
You can comment at kclose3.com


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