Wednesday, February 4th, 2004 | LiveJournal Archives | 2 Comments

God I wish I could draw. I think I would realy enjoy it. Instead, I just draw like crap and get frustrated with it.

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Friday, January 30th, 2004 | LiveJournal Archives | 4 Comments

Some days I realize that I’m pretty much unskilled in the areas that I’ve chosen to make my living. I realize that a lot of people have probably found their way into a similar position, but every now and then, I realize that I really want to go further in some directions and I don’t have the skills or knowledge to do so. Really, rather than being well eductated, I’ve become a fast learner and can follow dirrections very efficiently. Fortunately, for the most part, that’s pretty much all I need to do. On occasion, however, I realize that that’s just not enough and that if I were to really want to do something, I’d not have the qualifications to do so. And even if I could convince other people that I could do it, I would be concerned that my shortcomings would make it to where I would feel that I shouldn’t have done it in the first place.

Shit, does any of that make any sense? I think I’m just rambling.

Long story short, the school that I work for has finally admitted to itself (though a lot of political leverage) that it needs a new web page. This is something I’ve been fighting for since, well, since I created the present incarnation of it (yes, that generic looking B&W monster is my creation). I was excited about this because it meant I’d be able to do something I truly enjoy as a part of my standard workload. I enjoy designing and coding web pages, but I realize I’m not a great designer, which is why I was doubly excited by the fact that one of our design faculty was going to spearhead the design aspect and I’d be on the back end putting it all together.

At a lunch meeting today with the faculty member, our network manager and myself, two students happened along as well. It turns out that she had recruited some members from her class to assist with the project but by the end of lunch, it sounded like all my talents and efforts would be covered by these students and I would be left to “implement” the final website. From my standpoint, “implement” equates to “copy final files to the web server.”

Color me dejected.

So since lunch, I’ve felt like a day laborer who just happened to find his way into computer support. I often think of how much I’d enjoy some simple, blue color labor, but then I realized that I’m technically an unskilled laborer and wouldn’t qualify for better than a floor worker that would make significantly less than I do. In fact, about the only advantage I have over a simple day laborer is the fact that I speak english as my native language. Damn.

I’m going to go now.

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Wednesday, January 21st, 2004 | LiveJournal Archives | No Comments

I need to watch less TV and be more active. I need to stretch my imagination as well as my legs and arms. I need to reach out with my limbs and my mind and try to partake of the world rather than just watching it partake of itself. Wish me luck, this is as close to a resolution as I’m getting this year. If weight comes off with this, then yippie for me, if not, I’ll deal with it next year.



Monday, January 12th, 2004 | LiveJournal Archives | Enter your password to view comments.

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Monday, January 5th, 2004 | LiveJournal Archives | Enter your password to view comments.

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Protected: Drinking myself to oblivion isn’t enough sometimes.

Sunday, November 23rd, 2003 | LiveJournal Archives | Enter your password to view comments.

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Thursday, November 13th, 2003 | LiveJournal Archives | 7 Comments

Sometimes I’m just lonely.


Monday, November 10th, 2003 | LiveJournal Archives | No Comments

Ugh, today was so slow. But at the same time, the day went by surprisingly fast. It’s like ever minute crept by sluggishly, but then when you looked up, it was lunchtime, or time to go home. I played around with CSS (Cascading Style Sheets) today and acutally learned some interesting new things, but mostly learned that what I wanted to do wasn’t possible, at least as far as I could tell.

I’m working on the web page for my D&D setting, a world completely invented by me, or at least as much as I can do so with all the external influences affecting my ideas. It’s more a new combination of classic ideas. I actually started developing it this past January when I was at Winter Fantasy with Jeremy, specifically on the drive back to Indianapolis from Ft. Wayne. I want to get a lot more written down but the more I work on it, the more excited I get to run. I know I’ve been hoping to start again and again, but I’m really hoping to get something started for after the holidays. I really need to get cracking on that timeline and start determining how I’m going to fuck up the d20 classes. I know I want to use a lot of 2nd Ed AD&D Skills and Powers shit, but I still need to work it all out in my head.

Other than that, I did some paperwork, did a little PR around the building, boring shit like that. I got to see zoemonke‘s box in the lightwell. It was really cool, very fine craftsmanship. Even this weekend was really kind of laid back and slow. I’d comment about the game on Saturday, but I walked away from it somewhat deperessed and dejected (no fault of the game or you Steve). I really wish I knew better where I stood with my friends some days. I do have to say though, regardless of what we’ve been through, ups and downs, ins and outs, I’m really glad that Steve and I are friends and I’ve really grown to appreciate the fact that I know him and can talk to him openly. He’s probably the most open minded person I know (in certain aspects, no offense Steve) and he holds very few grudges. Thanks Steve.

Huff, my chest hurts a little (I’m lying over the arm of the couch typing) so I’m gonna give up for a bit and work on my Christmas List.

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Does anyone Remember this guy?

Monday, October 27th, 2003 | LiveJournal Archives | 3 Comments

He used to hang out with us a lot, but I sure don’t have any friends with hair even nearly this long, anyone seen him around?

More of the long haired freak

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Thursday, October 23rd, 2003 | LiveJournal Archives | 4 Comments

I hate being left out of shit and then having it thrown at me like I was supposed to have been involved the whole time.



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