K. Close III

Don’t Leave Home Without It…

Monday, November 17th, 2008 | Memories | 2 Comments

…in which I talk about maturing and leaving behind my “wild” past.

I didn’t have anything close to what you would call a “wild” college experience. You wouldn’t make a movie based off of my years in the dorms. Heck, you’d be hard pressed to make a flashback montage of any genuine interest, but it is what I made of it. But there were highlights and moments of unconventional adventures that do stick out from time to time, many of which I have a memento of one kind or another. Today, I left a part of my history on the bathroom counter and reduced a memento to a memory.

Fourteen years ago or so, before I’d even met Heather or dreamed of my life as it is now, four of my friends and I piled into my pale yellow 1979 Pontiac Bonneville and headed down to Dallas to visit a very popular tattoo and piercing parlor, Obscurities. Two of my friends were getting navel piercings, another was getting her nose pierced, one was just along for the ride. Not only was I the driver, being that I had the largest car, but I had also decided to get my nipple pierced. To this day, I can’t remember why exactly I had decided to do it, but it wasn’t to impress anyone, and it wasn’t on a whim. I had thought about it for a while and decided that it was something I wanted and when the opportunity arose, decided to grab it by the horns, as it were. Aside from a near mixup of which nipple was supposed to be pierced, everything went well and we all bumped and rumbled home in the car.

I’ve had that nipple piercing now for fourteen years. I’ve had several different pieces of jewelry in it, but its always been there. Heather has never known me without it. Even Ansel has never known me without it, though I don’t know that he’ll ever remember it. Its been something of a novelty; at times a gag, like a circus act; and at others a kind of virility, like a peacock plume; but regardless, its been a part of me. It was my first relic of “alternative” living. It came before alcohol and tattooing. It was a bookmark on my college years, not necessarily a turning point, but a pinpoint on a long evolution from teen to adult.

Removing it permanently was not a decision I came to lightly; in fact, its something that I’ve been debating for weeks now. I’ve had it long enough that it is a part of me, so taking it out and not putting it (or something else) back in is almost like taking off my left pinky and just leaving it behind. Its not something I really use, but can feel that its missing. My final decision came from the fact that its been a little irritated lately; and with Ansel climbing more and more, grabbing on to my chest indiscriminately, its been bothering me more often. I discussed it with Heather a couple of weeks ago when it first started bothering me, and she said that it wouldn’t bother her for it not to be there, even though, as I said, she’s never known me without it.

So now its gone… I could probably replace the jewelry tonight and undo my decision, but I don’t foresee myself doing so. It was something that, since it was under my shirt, obscured from the general public, that was obviously more for myself than everyone else and I’ve been less than happy with it of late. I know that I’ll miss it, and it will take some time to get used to it not being there, but in time, I’m sure I will learn to accept it, and myself without it.

Tags: college life, evoltion of the self, maturing, nipples, piercings

We Now Return You To Our Regularly Scheduled Broadcast, Already in Progress…

Monday, November 10th, 2008 | Blogging, Family, Personal Flaws | 4 Comments

…in which I talk about my own current affairs and the regularity of my blogging.

I feel bad because it shouldn’t be all that hard to post one blog a week. Every friday I all of a sudden realize that I haven’t posted anything and that I should write something up “right now” or another week will go by. Then, on Monday, I realize that I’ve missed that week. Maybe I need a weekly blogging night, or something. I frequently have ideas that I want to write about, issues that bother me, thoughts that I ponder; you know, regular blogging topics, but I often forget them before I get a chance to write about them. To this end, I think I’m going to buy myself yet another blank journal and start a blogging notebook… kind of a “writer’s blog defense book.” I almost bought one this weekend (for free with a coupon), but they were all so cheap looking I didn’t think they’d hold up to the abuse I was sure to pile on them. I’m low on funds right now, but I may still go out and see what I can find in the bookstore, later.

I’m glad the election is over, I was getting really tired of all the political talk, both national and local. More-so, I was getting really sick of the ads that months ago started out clean and unscathing, but more recently turned to muckraking and borderline slander. Someday, I’d love to live in a world where we simply sell ourselves on our own merit, rather than on how much better we are then our peers. Every time I am all but forced to promote myself by comparative arguments, I feel disgusted with myself. Yes, I understand that to get ahead, we have to make ourselves look like the best choice, but I’d certainly rather do that by making myself look good, not by making others look bad. Our society has put so much stress on contrast and competition, I feel like we, as a “modern” society, are far more adept at finding the bad in things than finding the good. I like to think of myself as a radical in such that whenever I watch a movie, or read a book, I manage to find some redeemable quality that made my experience worth while, rather than focus on the flaws so much that it ruins the entire event.

I’ve also noticed in the past, that I have been able to change people’s overall opinion of a “bad” movie, simply by talking about the good parts and helping them to remember what they actually enjoyed. Its not that I’m trying to be an advocate against negative opinions, but I just feel like the world today doesn’t foster an environment for a fair analysis. When we find a flaw in something, we pick at it interminably until the entire whole of the thing is infected and crusted over with whatever turned us against it in the first place, even if that initial inkling was minor at its inception. We are predisposed to hate something, and need to be convinced that we like it, rather than the other way around. We’re constantly prepared for disappointment, and have to be surprised when we’re not disappointed. So often, people critique something by saying it was “surprisingly good,” as if there was no way that they were going to be entertained. But then again, if you expected such a massive letdown, why did you even give it a chance. Maybe we’re constantly on the lookout for surprise, and as such, continue to expose ourselves to potential disaster, in hopes that the titanic will finally miss the iceberg.

Sometimes, however, no matter how high your expectations are, there’s nothing that can prepare you for the inevitable meltdown that’s waiting for you in the near future.

I went to Wizard World Texas, yesterday, and while I’m not going to go into details about it, things were not good on the trip back. I got to spend time with Derek, which was good, and I got to meet Max Brooks, which was great, but pretty much everything else was trumped by some unfortunate events on the way home. I’m working very hard to focus on the highlights, and am making light, in my head, of the tragedies, but its hard. I’m concerned for the future of some really good friends and hope that, despite the awkwardness and unfortunate circumstances of this weekend, things will improve. In my retelling of this weekend’s events, I’ve admitted that the last thing I want to be is the straw on the camel’s back. Also, I found out this past weekend, that a peer, and passing acquaintance is no longer together with her spouse. I don’t know her all that well and rarely socialize with her, I’ve never met her spouse to my knowledge, but the news of her name change and breakup was remarkably saddening to me.

I grew up lucky, I’d say. My parents rarely fought, were always supportive of each other and my brother and I, and had decent relationships with all of their parents and grandparents. Divorce is extraordinarily rare in my family, and I’ve never had to deal with it first person. Even when Heather and I were having some serious relationship problems, years back, I don’t think either of us could picture ourselves not with each other. Its like we just understood that we would work it out and move forward. Now, six years later, I’ve never loved Heather more, and to know that we have Ansel as a result of, not only our love, but our sordid experiences as well, makes me realize that a marriage does not have to be eternal bliss. In fact, I would argue, that a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, cannot exist solely on rapture and euphoria. If you cannot experience all of your emotions with your closest relationships, then you’re obviously not completely open to them. Every now and then, you have to spit a little venom.

This isn’t at all where I intended to go with this post, and to be honest, I don’t even know where I expected to go when I started writing, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t good enough.

Tags: Ansel, close friends, Flickr, Heather, Max Brooks, muckraking, politics, relationships, wizard world texas

The Soundtrack of my Life…

Friday, October 31st, 2008 | Entertainment | No Comments

…in which I talk about nostalgia.

I have over 20,000 songs in my iTunes collection. Yes, that’s a lot of music! Every now and then I try to organize it, I try to define the genres, or create a “tag” structure for them, but really, the only organization that seems to work is simply rating them with stars. In order to do this, I have created several “Smart” playlists that keep the un-rated music flowing while I’m at my desk at work, while my iPod is constantly loaded with only rated music. That means, that while I’m out and about, I hear only the best music, but while I’m at work, I only hear songs I haven’t heard in a while (if ever). Every now and then, a song comes on that I completely forgot that I loved, and I’m taken back to a time in my past when that song was “important.” And sometimes, those moments extend into the internet, as I look for the important people from my past who have gone missing.

I’m not going to say we moved around much when I was a kid, in fact, in my recollection, our family only moved twice. The first time, I was four and we moved from Rhode Island to Connecticut. I don’t know that I had too many friends to miss at that time, though I do remember going to visit my parents’ friends who had kids around my age pretty frequently for the few years after the move. The second move, I was finishing up second grade and we moved across town. We had lived right next to an elementary school and I had several friends who could come over and visit right after school, and when I started third grade, I kind of had to start all over again. Those friends from my first elementary school showed up again when we all went to hight school, but things had changed too much, and it was reminiscent of some of the scenes in Can’t Buy Me Love.

Throughout my life, however, music has always been an important factor, I’ve always loved collecting and listening to music. I think I got it from my dad who had a pretty extensive record collection and was always trying to get the best sound out of his stereo. Over time, I started to build a fairly impressive cassette collection, and then inevitably, a very respectable CD collection, but now its all MP3s and I’ve sold of an awful lot of my CDs. There isn’t a giant wall of music threatening to fall on anyone now, but instead there is the constant parade of larger and larger hard drives and the constant fear that someday it will all be lost, irreplaceably. But enough of those fears, on with the story.

I can’t remember much of what I listened to before High School, well, aside from Goin’ Quackers, which was possibly my favorite Disney Sing-Along album that I have recently found in MP3 format and now have started playing for Ansel. Like most of us, however, High School was probably the most defining years of my younger era, and thus it is punctuated by the music that I was listening to at the time. The music is the soundtrack to a movie I watched years ago, half asleep, in which I remember all of the characters vividly, but all the events surrounding them have become hazy and inconsistent. Every song from that time brings back an emotion that was surely precluded by some string of seemingly earth shattering events, that have since faded away into obscurity. I have dreams that are more fluid than the memories I try to scrape together from my teen years. But when I hear a song from that time, I remember how I felt; I don’t remember at all why I felt that way, but I remember the feeling of my throat choking up as with the anticipation of a new crush, or that sinking feeling of heartbreak, or the desperation of being surrounded by sucking loneliness. All of those guttural feelings persist in the lyrics and tunes, but the history is completely awash. I may remember a split second, like a single frame of a film, but all the rest of the footage is lost, consumed in a nitrate fueled inferno. To be fair, though, Estée Lauder Beautiful will still pull me across a mall.

Tags: music, nostalgia

A Movie of Depreciating Value…

Friday, October 10th, 2008 | Entertainment | No Comments

…in which I talk about my love for movies, even the bad ones.

I love movies. I mean, I really love movies. I will watch the worst movies you’ve seen and enjoy myself, usually finding at least one small part that is redeemable. I watch some really bad movies sometimes, just because of a particular actor, director, writer, or theme. I have a really bad habit of adding movies to my Netflix queue simply because the description “sounds interesting.” As a result, my Netflix queue has over 400 movies on it, many of which I don’t recognize or even remember why I added them in the first place.

Last night we watched Miss Cast Away and the Island Girls and while it takes a really deplorable movie for me to do this, I rated it a one out of five stars. To be honest, though, it wasn’t really because of how bad the movie was (but don’t get too excited, it was a atrociously bad movie), but more because the description lied to me. More specifically, the “featured cast” list on Netflix lied to me. Here, take a look at who is supposed to be in it:

• Evan Marriott
• Eric Roberts
• Joyce Giraud
• Colleen Shannon
• Stuart Pankin
• Michael Jackson
• Charlie Schlatter
• Somaya Reece
• Eugene Greytak
• Anna Nicole Smith
• Bob Denver
• Pat Morita
• Lou Ferrigno
• Bernie Kopell
• Jerry Lewis

Now I can only guess that I added this movie, regardless of its star rating (1.9) simply because of the fantastically diverse cast. Even when the disk arrived, I didn’t remember anything about the movie but as soon as I saw all these names in the description, I was once again excited to see all these people working together. As I sat, watching the movie with Heather (who only gave it a chance for the same promised cast), I started to notice that in light of the lack of a plot and the abysmally cartoonish special effects, no casting choices were ever going to save this feature. Eric Roberts, a B quality star, made his appearance early on, and Charlie Schlatter (yeah, I had to look him up, but he looked really familiar) entered immediately afterwards, but all those other big names up there seemed to be taking their time showing up. Eventually, there was a gag in which Charlie Schlatter, stranded with the beauty pageant contestants on the deserted island, finds an unconscious Gilligan lookalike (that’s Bob Denver for those of you who are not good with names) and goes through his pockets. This lookalike never speaks, nor even looks at the screen. There is no way to even suggest that it was, in fact, Bob Denver but we are to assume that it was. It turns out that even IMDB has taken Bob Denver’s name out of the credits, if not by request, then probably out of respect. Shortly afterwards, Michael Jackson made his appearance, and it was a surprisingly sizable part. To be fair, though, the writer/director has a prior relationship with Michael Jackson and a particularly talented small boy. Even still, his footage looked like it was filmed with a webcam and submitted via email.

Of the remaining stars, Lou Ferrigno was superimposed on a special effect, Jerry Lewis was possibly there in name only (as in, his name was mentioned), I never saw any reference at all to Anna Nicole, Pat Morita or Bernie Kopell. In all honesty, the movie did make me chuckle more than once, and for that, I was going to give it two stars (to get an idea of what I deem a one star film, watch Porn Theatre) but dropped it to one star because I felt lied to and cheated. Before putting the disk in the mail to go back to its hellspawn origin, I even crossed out all the names on the label that were arguably not even in the movie.

Oh, and Jurassic Pork didn’t make me chuckle at all.

Tags: movies

Ding! You have leveled up in Cyclist…

Friday, October 3rd, 2008 | Cycling | 2 Comments

…in which I talk about how serious I’m obviously getting about this cycling stuff.

So today is a gorgeous autumn Friday. It is currently slightly overcast and a nice, cool 70. I rode my bike in this morning and as I sit here at my desk, can only think of how much I’d rather be out riding it some more. I usually fantasize about being home on the couch, or just being outside strolling around on campus. Today, however, more than anything else, I’d rather be zooming around town, either back home or just out and about. I’m thinking that before too long, I will have to think twice about whether I really want to take the car or not. More than likely, the decision will come down to what I have to carry with me to wherever I’m going.

All told, I’ve already spent almost $200 on maintenance and upgrades to my bike since I decided I was going to start commuting daily. That’s more than half the cost of the bike, and definitely more than it would cost to buy my bike again, were I to find one exactly like it, used. In order of appearance, I have had a complete tuneup that greased all the things that should be greased, tuning of brakes and gears, and just some general cleaning and care. In the process, it was discovered that my brakes were bad, and they were replaced. Immediately afterwards, one of my shifters went bad, and they were also replaced. My grips were also upgraded from rotting rubber to ergonomic foam. I’ve added a rear view mirror for safety and removed a disused bottle cage (with my water pack, I really don’t need a bottle cage). I then did some research on tires and realized that my old knobby mountain tires were counterproductive for my road commuting and replaced them with some Kenda Kommuter tires. They’re really nice, but very hard, which prompted me to upgrade my seat, and while I was at it, replace the tail light that fell off shortly after I started riding again. Just yesterday, I added some toe-clips and I’ve already noticed an improvement in the focus and intensity of my pedaling.

Now I can’t stop thinking about what would make my bike better. I’ve observed that, of the 21 gear configurations on my bike, I use no more than 7, and really, only 6. So now I’m thinking either a new crankset or at least some new chainrings will help with that greatly and allow me to get some better speed on my straightaways. I’m telling myself I need to slow down though and not completely overhaul my bike until I know that I’m going to stick with it. I’ll hold off the chainrings until February or March sometime. I figure if I can make it through the winter and still be riding almost daily, then I deserve to get another upgrade with some of our tax return. A helmet and full-fingered gloves are still on the short list of items to look into, as well as some ankle wraps and a nice, slim fitting windbreaker, for when I have to start riding in the colder months.

So about the toe-clips… This is something I’ve pondered for a while now but was admittedly scared of. I always fear getting into a situation where I need get my foot down quickly lest I crash or fall over, but it turns out that getting your feet out is pretty much the easy part. The hard part, honestly, is getting your feet in. Its not impossible, but its going to take some time for me to get to a point where I can do it easily, quickly, and most importantly, without looking. As it is, on my entire ride to work this morning, I kept my right foot on the pedal at all times and only slipped my left foot in and out at stops. Fortunately, I can still pedal with the bottom of the pedal when I need to accelerate out of a stop light in heavy intersections, then I can take my time later to put my foot back in the clip correctly. I definitely like them and can already feel an improvement in my ride.

Angela joined me on my ride yesterday, and while it made the ride considerably longer, and I think I pretty well kicked her ass, I think we both appreciated the company and companionship of the ride. What it made me explicitly aware of, though, is how adept of a rider I’ve become and how, even when I feel like I’ve killed myself, I can still keep going. I’m more and more confident that before too long, I will be able to ride to McKinney or Frisco before too long. I need to find a place somewhat closer to work up to first, either that, or a nice long route around Denton. Four miles to or from work has become a fairly routine effort and no longer poses a challenge like it did when I first started out. I’m thinking a nice ten mile track will be the next step. After I can do a fifteen or twenty mile route, I’ll consider the big step and try biking to Frisco for lunch. Its twenty-five miles from my house to Fadis in Frisco. A good two to three hour ride to Frisco, a healthy lunch, and then another two to three hour ride back. Its pointless and insane, I know, but I’m really wanting to be able to get to that point. Anyone who wishes to, may join me for lunch that day then leave my ass to ride home. I won’t be offended, nor will I beg for a ride.

Tags: bicycle upgrades, bicycles, goals, toe clips

The Oracle Says “No…”

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 | Cycling, Entertainment, Work | No Comments

…in which I talk about frustrating work issues while stalling in the office because some guy needs to get into our server room every 45 seconds.

I’d much rather be outside going to get a YooHoo or even a chocolate coke at Sonic, but instead I have to sit here in the office and hold the door open (not literally) for this guy who is doing some installs in our server room.

In the mean time, I’ve been trying to install this stupid room scheduling software on a new Staff computer and it turns out that our decision to switch from XP to Vista may have been a less than stellar choice. The lab had to switch to Vista because the newest version of AutoCAD only runs on Vista. There was no real compelling need for the faculty & staff to switch, but we strive for consistency whenever we can, so the new faculty & staff computers have been getting Vista as well. However, this being the first computer running Vista to need this scheduling software, it has now been brought to my attention that it may not run right, if at all.

The problem goes deeper than simply the scheduling software (Resource25 or R25 for short). R25 uses Oracle for its data management, so before even installing R25, I need to install Oracle. Now, for those of you who don’t know but still care for some reason, Oracle 9 (the ipso facto standard on campus for the most part) does not run on Vista. Oracle 10 runs fine on Vista and the other applications that we’ve needed oracle for in the past all work fine with Oracle 10. Not so with R25. R25 requires Oracle 9 and will not work with Oracle 10.

A dealbreaker you say? So did I, but apparently not so. It turns out that you can actually take an install of Oracle 9 from a windows XP machine, copy it to your Vista machine, copy all the registry keys and all associated parts and pieces, and then direct things like R25 to that instead of Oracle 10 and everything is supposed to run fine. I can’t say if it does or not because I’ve not gotten that far, yet. Like I said, I’m stuck in my office for the time being. I’m not saying that I want, or even expect it to work, but I have to try it before I can call it a write-off.

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In other news, music has been mysteriously disappearing from my iTunes library. Its not bad sectors on the hard drive, because the library would still think it was there, even if it can’t find the track, and its not disappearing just from iTunes because its not on the hard drive either. Its completely missing. I’m not sure how or why, but its really upsetting me. For example, I used to have (legally) almost every Nine Inch Nails album (up to a point, at least). When I checked for my Nine Inch Nails music the other day, it turned out that I now only have five songs. So I’ve spent the last couple of days trying to figure out what is actually missing and how to get it all back.

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Lastly, I got my new tires yesterday. They are definitely different that what I’m used to, but I should be come accustomed to them before too long… though I may need a new seat.

Tags: computers, database systems, music, mysteries, oracle

One Year Ago…

Saturday, September 20th, 2008 | Entertainment, Family | No Comments

…in which I make a quick note about Ansel’s Birthday.

Yesterday was Ansel’s first birthday. There was no great hoopla, not riotous celebration, just a day out shopping and dinner at home. We went out to Frisco to go to Ikea to buy a gift for Ansel, but it turns out that the item is no longer available at Ikea. We’ll have t get a slightly more expensive one at Target, now.

Either way, we had a pretty good day out shopping with my Mom and Dad. We ate a late lunch at Ikea and then headed back home. There really was no great celebration, that comes tomorrow at Ansel’s big birthday party.

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And on another note, I finally picked up my Rock Band 2 guitar at Best Buy. I got tired of waiting for GameStop to ship it and found out Best Buy had 12 in stock. I can honestly say, its fantastic. Its such a nice improvement over the old guitar. The fact that its wireless is great, but the sturmmer is the real improvement. Its a lot more responsive wiht a much shorter throw. My only concern is that the orange key is a little sluggish on the bounce back. I’ll have to keep an eye on it and see if it needs replacing. I haven’t noticed and gameplay issues, it just feels mushy under my finger. Actually, if all the keys felt the same, I wouldn’t even notice or care, but that one key just feels out of place.

Anyway, we have a relaxing day at home before the big party tomorrow. We’re looking forward to it and hope Ansel has a great day!

Tags: Ansel, birthdays, grandparents, Ikea, photos, Rock Band, shopping, video games, xbox

Cyclist Manifesto…

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 | Cycling | 4 Comments

…in which I talk about myself as non-motorized traffic.

I love riding my bike to and from work. I really love it. I can’t say that I’ve regretted it even once. Not on any hill that’s tough to climb, not on any of these cold mornings, not once while sitting in my office dripping sweat as I cool down from my ride in. In fact, just having my bike on campus to run errands and travel between buildings is simply perfect. It now takes me half the time to get from one building to another to go and fix computers (now if all the buildings we have computers in had bike racks, things would be even better).

Drivers need to realize, however, that I am not impeding traffic. I am traffic. I’ve actually been honestly surprised by the fact that in the past six weeks, I’ve only been yelled at once. Yesterday, was the first time someone was actually upset with the fact that I was riding in the road, rather than in the gutter or on the sidewalk. Oddly enough, it was on the same stretch of road that I got yelled at last time.

As it was, I was on Locust (a one-way, two-lane street) approaching University (a four-lane highway). There is a nice, wide, shoulder all the way down Locust which I take advantage of as much as I can, though occasionally there is a car parked in the shoulder and I have to shift into the right lane to get around it. However, as you encroach upon University, there is a right-turn only lane added, which eliminates the shoulder. As a result, I always look for an opening to move into the right-most non-turn-only lane because I need to cross over University and continue on Locust. I try to wait as long as possible, but traffic can be pretty bad on Locust around 5:30 so I will often pull out a little early to make sure I’m not stuck in the right-turn only lane. There is no clear ruling that I can see for this action in the Texas Bicycle Laws, but I would argue that it is my prerogative to take the lane, since, in my opinion, it would be “less legal” to continue straight from the right-turn only lane.

So, with all that in mind, when I took the lane, I checked my mirror (I have an awesome rear view mirror now, which makes me feel oh so much safer and more responsible as a rider) and moved into the lane. There was no-one in the lane and no-one with a blinker indicating that they were planning on moving into the lane, so it was all clear. As soon as I moved into the lane, though, some jughead in a massive white pickup truck honks at me and shouts something, waving his arm as if to say I should be on the shoulder or the sidewalk (have you ever had someone yell at you while they pass you in their car, its completely unintelligible). I’m not entirely sure why he was upset, he even turned left at the light, so I was never obstructing him, but he was obviously disgruntled by my presence in the street.

People like him need to realize a few things about my choice to ride a bike.

• I have every legal right to be on the road as any other motorized vehicle. While the laws encourage me from riding as close to the curb as possible, they do not prevent me from riding in the lane when it is necessary. The sidewalks, in my opinion, are right out. I would be more of a hazard to a pedestrian than an automobile. Additionally, sidewalks often end unexpectedly… or have a tree growing out of them.
• While I may slow down traffic on rare occasions, for the most part I am taking smaller, less utilized roads and staying out of the way on major highways. I’m actually reducing traffic in the places where it matters most.
• I am reducing carbon emissions. Most drivers may not even think about this, directly, but believe me, its a good thing.
• By not buying gas (I’ve filled my tank once in two months, and I’m still at 3/4 of a tank, presently), I’m actually combating the rising gas prices. All those stupid “gas-outs” and crap, they do nothing. There is only one way to reduce the cost of gas and that is to use less of it. So yeah, this one is for you, the one driving all by yourself in the giant six person SUV. For every million gallons of gas it takes you to drive to work everyday, it takes me none.

There are other reasons, personal reasons, why I ride a bike but the ones above are the reasons that affect other people. There may even be more that effect other people, but I can’t think of them at present. Regardless of my motivation, I love riding my bike, and I’m allowed to ride it in the manner which I do. I obey traffic laws, I stop at traffic lights and stop signs. I signal when I turn or change lanes and I obey the speed limit when it is possible for me to exceed it. I am allowed to ride my bike on the road, and I will do so in the manner that I see fit. This is my manifesto, as a cyclist. I don’t impede traffic, I am traffic.

Tags: green living, obnoxious drivers, traffic

Creepy Crawlies…

Friday, September 12th, 2008 | Writer's Block | 2 Comments

…in which I talk about entomophobia.

Today’s topic on the LiveJournal Writer’s Block segment is “If one thing were to be stricken from nature, what could you stand to see go?”

I’m pretty happy with nature and all the things within it, all in all. Yeah, there are a lot of things that I don’t entirely appreciate, but what I do appreciate is the balance of everything, so realistically, I can’t say I’d want to see anything lost from nature. However, the question is not “what would I like to see go,” but “what could I stand to see go,” and while I have no ire against anything in particular, Heather’s terrorific fear of bugs can be almost a danger to myself and Ansel (though I know neither of us are really in danger).

When I was a child, I was very entomophobic (Google it) but as I’ve grown up, I’ve built up a tolerance for six and eight legged monsters. There are still a few here and there that break through my defenses, but for the most part, I can go about my business and let them go about theirs. I have a bad history of being stung, but at least I’m not allergic so there’s no tragic “near death” stories about any kind of stings.

Back when I was living in Connecticut, we had a slatted deck that ran the length of our house. I remember one day I hopped up and sat down on the deck only to be stung in the left butt cheek by a wasp that had been hiding down between the slats. It was gloriously painful experience that was equalled only by the embarrassment of being stung on the ass. Around that same time, I was walking past a poke-berry bush and just barely brushed against it and was stung in the shoulder by some other flying fighter insect. I think its the sneak attacks that are the worst, where you’re completely unprepared for the sting.

You see, if I can see the insect, and know its around, I can not only attempt to avoid it but also, I know its around and can prepare myself for the off chance possibility that I might get stung. Its with that thought that I have decided that these stirges aren’t nearly as frightening as I used to find them because they’re not really offensive, but more defensive. If I don’t antagonize them, then they usually leave well enough alone. Its only when you go blundering into their path, or home, that they get a little riled up and decide to attack.

Recently, I did unintentionally aggravate a stinger. It was flying around the house and, since Heather is completely petrified by flying insects (even those harmless junebugs), I decided to catch it and throw it outside. I did not, however, know that it was a stinging insect, so as soon as I had it in my hand, I was surprised to all of a sudden be in pain from its sting. This, of course, did not make Heather feel any better about there being a flying insect in the living room.

Heather is very paranoid of flying bugs, she tends to duck, dodge and even run from the room if something start whizzing around, often times with nearly reckless abandon, trying to escape often a completely harmless bug. The frequency of stinging insects in our house is actually pretty low, we are mostly plagued by moths, junebugs, beetles, and houseflys. Wasps, bees, and other more vitriolic threats, however, are a pretty rare occurrence in our house. They tend to hang out outdoors, under the eaves. We do get the occasional surprise attack from some wasps protecting their turf when we go out to get the mail or mow the lawn, but otherwise they just leave us alone. Still, Heather insist that I periodically go out and commit a cleansing act of insecticide and wipe out an entire clan. Its tragic, but I still get a sick thrill out of sending an entire hive of wasps to an early poisoned grave.

And then there are the cockroaches. Heather despises them, she feels that they are harbingers of filth and uncleanliness. While there may be some truth to that, they’re just looking for a cool, dry place to set up shop and raise a family of millions. It used to be that Ia was the great bug killer, destroying beetles and cockroaches with triumphant pounces and shoulder rolls, but lately she’s been to lazy to even bother. We’ve had to resort to toxic death chambers to keep their numbers at bay. Its not as exciting as the great insect hunter Ia, but they get the job done.

I’ve had some phobic experiences with crawlers, similar to the flyers in my past. I had a project in school, once, where we had to capture and preserve an insect for some nature lesson. In my attempt to catch a millipede in my back yard, I suffered a ringing in my ears and tunnel vision as I tried to scoop it into the pickle jar that would later be a lethal gas chamber for it. Much later, when living in the dorms, I was watching TV in Heather’s room when a sizable cockroach all of a sudden appeared on my forearm. After much flailing and flinging of large shoes and magazines, we finally decided there were better things to do than sit in her dorm room and watch TV.

Regardless, while I’m still not a fan of insects and their ilk, I wish them no ill will. However, in reference to the topic in question, I would not miss them if they inexplicably ceased to exist in our reality. This, of course, would have to come in some kind of mystical natural balance where the entire chain of predators and prey was not disintegrated by the loss of one link.

Tags: bugs, LiveJournal, nature, random topics

Terror Comes to Tiny Town…

Friday, September 5th, 2008 | Family | 2 Comments

…in which I talk about my poor, poor little baby and his horrible, terrible, no good, very bad night.

So, Wednesday was not a good day for baby Ansel. He was dripping snot all day, didn’t sleep well the night before, and didn’t nap well all day. He was grumpy (which was reiterated by his “GRUMPY” onesie) and we were pretty sure that Wednesday night would not go very well either, but we had no idea how bad it could be.

For those of you who have not met our Ansel, he is a super-champ. He’s very laid back, almost always cheerful, and just an all around happy baby. He hardly cries, and when he does, it takes almost nothing to soothe him again. Heather and I consider ourselves very lucky with him, and accept the fact that this may change as he gets older and are not taking his relaxed nature for granted. We appreciate every second of it.

My retelling of this may be a bit off, seeing as how I was pretty solidly asleep and I’m putting it together based on what I could discern from Heather. We struggled to get him to even go to sleep Wednesday night, and finally, with Heather sleeping on the floor in his room by his crib, he fall asleep. This was a short lived solace because after a short while, he all of a sudden awoke screaming, uncontrollably. I don’t know how long he screamed before I woke up in the next room, past a closed door, but I know Heather was crying trying to console him. After my head cleared and I realized this was no dream or hallucination, I got up to go check on them. When I found them, Ansel was in his crib screaming like his toes had been eaten in the middle of the night, and Heather was looking for something - anything - to soothe him. I rescued her and took him a way to try and calm him down myself.

Now, like I said, Ansel is usually pretty easy to calm back down. For the most part, if he’s crying, you can just pick him up, carry him around for a little bit and bounce him in your arms and he’ll eventually downgrade his crying to sniffles and rest his head on your shoulder. This was not the case! No amount of waking, carrying, or bouncing was going to stop his wails. He was crying so hard that his body was shuddering. I went to the kitchen to try to find a solution. My first thought was that his teeth were in serious pain. He’s been teething again, and I’ve heard tell that the further back the teeth are, the more they hurt when they come out. So I tried cold water and Tylenol. Neither of which helped, in fact, he almost just poured the Tylenol back out of his mouth with his relentless crying. So after what felt like an eternity, between Heather and I both trying to make him feel better, I decided I’d get him a cold teething ring and opened the refrigerator. As I reached in, he started to quiet down. In my half-asleep, completely frustrated, stupor, I had to stop and think about why the refrigerator was calming him down. Was it the cold? Was it the glow of American consumerism? Was it something in the refrigerator, specifically? It finally occurred to me that in an effort to keep the mood calming, neither Heather nor I had turned on any lights. To test this theory, I went in to the living room, flipped the lights on full blast and started poking all of Ansel’s music toys.

He immediately stopped crying and started showing interest in his toys so we sat down on the floor and played for a bit. Heather came in and kind of calmed herself down, as well. We sat there for a while before I admitted that I needed to go to bed or I’d be useless the next day at work. However, when I got to bed, I found that the two hours of sleep I’d already had, plus the excitement and fear from Ansel’s crying fit had worked me up too much to sleep, so I ended up just reading for another 45 minutes or so. Needless to say, I ended up snoozing my alarm far more than I should, and then dragging myself through the morning to the point that I was an hour late to work on Thursday.

Fortunately, Thursday was a much better day for Ansel, and Friday is shaping up to be better still. Whatever scared him so bad Wednesday night seems to have passed and he looks to be getting over his cold. Unfortunately, Heather and I both seem to be fighting off a little bit of a cold ourselves. What goes around comes around.

Tags: Ansel, night terrors, sleep